The Valdez Family
by ResidentOfCabin6
Summary: This is a one shot about when Calypso and Leo have their first child, and some of the events that ensue. Hope you guys like it!


**Hello, ROC6 here with yet another one shot. I know this one will probably seem random, but it's something my friends and I thought up at lnch the other day and I wanted to put it up for you to see because I found it really entertaining. Check up on ell13 because she may be uploading a different version soon. Enjoy!**

**(I don't own anything you recognize)**

Leo stared down at the wrinkly, red, humanoid shape in his arms with a mixture of emotions. Amazement, for one. He and Calypso made this… Thing together. Their little girl. Another thing he felt was disgusted. Ouch, that didn't sound good. It's just, he always found babies ugly, but newborns are, like ten times uglier on the baby ugly scale. Out of the seven, he was the last one to have a child, but that's fine by him. He had to readjust Calypso to the world, which was hard enough, but with kids… No. Just no. Calypso looks at him from the hospital bed, watching carefully to make sure he doesn't do something stupid to her baby. She frowns in disapproval as Leo lights his finger on fire and waves it in front of the baby.

The baby looks like it's watching the flame, but can babies even see? Either way, the baby is fascinated with the mysterious heat. Suddenly, the baby lights on fire. Therefore, Leo lights on fire. Soon the hospital room lights on fire. Then the whole hospital.

Leo walks out through the burning hospital whispering to the baby,"Hey Hot Stuff. Or should it be Super Sized McShizzle Jr.? Or Leo Jr.? Oh, I know, Hot stuff Jr.!"

Meanwhile, the Jacksons are just arriving in their beat up blue Jeep out front of the burning hospital. They see a flaming Leo and child and Percy starts to pull away muttering something about them looking busy, and his wife yells at him to go help put out the fire. Annabeth sighs, _Di Immortales, why couldn't the new Valdez have Calypso's powers?_ Sure, this is why they had the Jacksons meet them there instead of meeting back at the Valdez residence like the rest of the seven, but Annabeth had hoped that their fear was unfounded. She turns around and looks at the pair of children in the backseat that have been pelting her with water encased Cheerios the whole ride. Two year old Emily, nicknamed Emmy, a little girl with blond curls, sea green eyes, and water powers smiles innocently at her. Curse it, the girl seems to have gotten the Athena-ness too. Athena-ness, gods Annabeth has been spending too much time around Percy. The other one, Jacob, an exact replica of Percy, except instead of having the body of an adult he actually looks like a one year old, just laughs and sends another Cheerio at her face.

"You two be good," Annabeth says before climbing out of and locking the car wondering why she even bothers.

She turns around and, thank the gods, Percy has put out the hospital and the baby, but Leo is nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Leo?" Annabeth asks, exasperated.

"He went to go get Calypso. Duh," Percy so kindly explains, then looks at the little swaddled bundle in his arms,"Meet Hot Stuff Jr., though honestly I would've called her Pearl."

Annabeth just stares at him, noting that the baby girl looks exactly like Calypso, if Calypso came in Latino elf edition,"That's actually a good name. Why didn't you suggest that when Emmy was born?"

"Her name is Bubbles, and because she seemed so much like an Ariel."

"Her name is Emmy, and if she seems so much like an Ariel, then why do you call her Bubbles?"

"Because that was then. Now, she seems like a Bubbles."

Annabeth gives up and looks at the hospital just in time to see Leo carrying Calypso bridal style out of the doors. It's amazing that the hospital is relatively unscathed. It's also hilarious, because Leo is still super scrawny at 24. Annabeth walks over and pulls the baby out of Percy's arms and walks over to Calypso, trusting her not to kill it or try to teach it to speak fish. She doesn't hand it to Mrs. Valdez yet, as she is struggling to escape Leo, whom is saying he'll only let her down in return for a Sharpie. Annabeth watches, amazed, as the former goddess is somehow unable to escape from the arms of her ridiculously scrawny husband. Annabeth is about to tell Calypso to definitely not give Leo the Sharpie, just as she does exactly that. Leo promptly drops Calypso and pulls 'Hot Stuff Jr.' out of Annabeth's arms and writes the baby's 'name' on it's arm.

"Leo Valdez! We are not naming our baby Hot Stuff Jr!" Calypso yells at him.

"Well do you have a better idea?" Leo asks as he skips over, catching Calypso by surprise and writing _TEAM LEO_ on her forehead.

"Yes! We talked about this. We said if it's a girl her name is Rose. Therefore that is her name. Also, that's what I had them write on her birth certificate. Get away!" Calypso swats at Leo.

Annabeth decides to let the couple work the name out themselves and turns around only to see the street and her car flooded. She sighs, already planning on how to install more drains, as apparently her children managed to overload the one. She watches as Jacob floats into the driver's seat, baby seat and all, and Emmy pounds furiously on the window. She lets them out of the car, getting soaked in the process, and sits both Emmy and Jacob in the grass. She pulls out her cell phone, a special version designed by the man throwing a hissy fit in the grass because he doesn't get to choose the baby's name. She scrolls through her contacts until she finds the one she's looking for.

Sally Jackson picks up her phone, seeing as it's Annabeth again.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sally, could you come to the nearest hospital?"

"What? Why? Is someone hurt?"

"No," Sally can hear Annabeth sigh,"Your grandchildren flooded the car, again, and we need transportation to the Valdez's place so could y-"

Annabeth cuts off, and Sally can hear something exploding in the background.

A moment later Annabeth comes back,"Sorry about that. Can you come? And bring the minivan, as you need to transport me, you, three children and the Valdez's."

Sally chuckles,"Of course, I'll be there soon."

Annabeth sighs. That was embarrassing, as it's the third time this week. She turns to Percy, about to make a comment about training their children to use their powers responsibly, only to discover the man in question pouting and arguing with a one year old.

"You- You killed Kelp. She was my mermaid. You killed Kelp. With a sea serpent. You killed Kelp…"

Annabeth glares at Percy and he shrinks away from her,"Percy, get over it, it was an abstract shape made from water."

Annabeth then calls some people to tow the car to her house so that the engine can safely dry out. Soon, Sally's minivan pulls up and Annabeth goes over to retrieve the Valdez's. She picks up baby Rose, who was lying forgotten on the grass because her parent's argument somehow turned into a makeout session. Annabeth walks with the red faced couple back to the car, where Sally has Percy sitting between Jacob and Emmy in the back seat. Percy is telling them the amazing adventures of Rainbow the fish pony, though today he can't seem to decide whether or not to call Jacob Batman or Coral, the two names Percy wanted to give him. Sally climbs in the driver's seat as Leo and Calypso argue about who gets to hold Rose. Annabeth climbs in the passenger seat as Calypso takes Rose and sits next to Leo in the middle row.

Within seconds after the car starts moving, though, Rose switches laps as she nearly sets her mother's clothes on fire. Leo holds her and she starts to cry, causing Jacob to cry, causing Emmy to cry. Annabeth sits in the car, or as she is currently thinking of it, a car filled with pudgy monsters, wondering again why she and Percy thought it would be a good idea to have children.


End file.
